The Annual Meeting of the Dumb and Dumber National Park Visiting Society
Colorado Jim: The annual meeting of the Dumb and Dumber National Park Visitors Society will now come to order.
Bob: There's only the two of us here, Jim.
CJ: Then it should be an easy matter to establish order. The Sergeant at Arms can stand at ease.
B: We don't have a Sergeant at Arms.
CJ: Moving right along, will the Treasurer please read the minutes of last year's meeting?
B: Isn't the Secretary supposed to do that?
CJ: OK; will the Secretary please read the minutes of last year's meeting?
B: We don't have a Secretary. And anyway, we didn't meet last year. This is our very first meeting.
CJ: Really? Just why are we holding this meeting, anyway?
B: It was your idea, Jim. Don't you remember? You said we needed to create a dummy 501(c)3 organization so we could write off all of our national park visiting costs as "business expenses." You said that we needed to hold an organizational meeting to get things going.
CJ: I said that?
B: Yes. You must have had a lucid moment. You said that we could use the dummy NGO to evade taxes. Whoops! I mean avoid taxes.
CJ: What's the difference?
B: About 10 years at hard labor.
CJ: What else did I say?
B: You also said that we should call the organization the Dumb and Dumber National Park Visitors Society and try to recruit some dues-paying members. However, it's preposterous to think that anyone would want to be a member of an organization called the "Dumb and Dumber National Park Visitors Society."
CJ: I see your point. OK; I move that we change the name of our organization to the Dumb and Dumber National Park Visiting Society.
B: Now you're talking! I'm going to count that as another lucid moment. That's three so far this month.
CJ: What do we do next?
B: Well, now that we've got a killer name for our organization, we need to create a budget. This year we're planning to visit Pikes Peak, Yellowstone, Glacier, and Little Bighorn. I think that $4,000 should just about cover it.
CJ: Pikes Peak is not a national park.
B: The IRS doesn't know that.
CJ: Four thousand bucks is a lot of money.
B: If we set the annual dues at eight bucks, we'll only need to recruit 500 members.
CJ: If we set the dues at $1,000 we'd only need to recruit four members.
B: Yet another lucid moment! You're on a roll.
CJ: Is there any further business we need to take care of?
B: I do have one item for the good of the order.
CJ: What the hell is the "good of the order"?
B: Check with the Parliamentarian.
CJ: We don't have a parly...... We don't have one of those.
B: OK; the good of the order is meeting time that is set aside for members to offer comments or observations about the organization and its functions. A member may also offer a resolution to bring a disciplinary charge against a member for offenses committed outside of a meeting.
CJ: Oh, that good of the order!
B: Jim, do you recall that the Dumb & Dumber Coastal Carolinas tour we took last spring entailed visits to Ft. Pulaski National Monument, the Fort Moultrie unit of Fort Sumter National Monument, Cape Hatteras National Seashore, and Wright Brothers National Memorial?
CJ: I do.
B: And do you recall that you told me to leave my camera at home, since you would be taking "all of the wonderful photos that anyone could possibly want"?
CJ: I don't like where this is going.
B: You took only photos of seagulls, Jim. Hundreds of seagull photos. Seagulls flying, eating, sitting, and crapping.
CJ: Yes, all of the wonderful seagull photos that anyone could possibly want.
B: I think we need a resolution here. You deserve a formal censure.
CJ: Does any money come with that award?
B. Move to adjourn.
CJ: Second. May I see a show of hands?
B: There's only the two of us, Jim.
CJ. Then it shouldn't take long to tally the vote.